8/30/10 More virility? I didn’t know I needed it.

Space had asked me to bring a 6-pack of Canadian beer with me.  His memories of "good beer" were strong and he was suffering from withdrawal.  His neighbour Ken had taken care of the dogs while we were in Taipei, so Space invited him over for some Labatt 50, our cottage beer of choice back home.

Labatt's "50" - What more can you say?

Ken was blown away by the “50”, proving that even Canadian construction worker beer beats anything available here.  Ken was so appreciative that he went home for something special.  He returned with a bottle of Famous Grouse scotch in one hand and a bottle of homemade rice wine infused with deer antler in the other.

I promptly advised Ken that Scotch and I were no longer friends, but in a “lost in translation” moment Space had to clarify that it was scotch that was my mortal enemy and not Ken.  Apparently Ken wanted to play Canadian peacemaker and promptly poured me a generous glass of scotch in an attempt to end my long war against the vile liquid.  I quickly swigged the poison so as not to offend my new friend; this war of mine would continue and I humbly ask all my friends to strike the previously commonplace saying of “Johnny likes his scotch” from their vocabularies.

Satisfied that peace had been achieved; Ken moved on to bottle #2 and poured me a glass of its amber elixir.  He explained that it was a traditional preparation of rice wine spirits and deer antler.  With a huge grin, he told me that it would help me “get a baby”.  When I told him that was precisely what I wanted to avoid he countered that the drink would increase my virility and make me more of a man.

Virility in a bottle!

Careful!  It'll get you a baby!

It was good stuff to be sure, but I didn’t feel a tingle in my pants or detect an increase in my virility.  Perhaps the scotch had already done its damage.