9/03/10 Adventures in food…making up for lost time

It had been a couple of days of conventional meals and I needed to get back on track with my food experimentation. Sure, I had cow tongue at a restaurant the night before, but it was rolled up and thinly sliced. It needed to look like cow tongue to be interesting and preparing it that way seemed a little North American to me, where food is anonymous, never has a face and comes wrapped in plastic. Even more important than that is that I have cow tongue in my freezer at home.

The best for the culinary destruction that I had in mind was a night market on the outskirts of town. Space and I met Iris at 7-Eleven; he suggested we start with a beer appropriately named “Taiwan”. It was pure swill, but what better to get me prepared for stinky tofu than crappy beer.

The Rundown:

Stinky Tofu – As absolutely horrid as the smell is, it didn’t taste so bad. Actually, it didn’t really taste of anything. Which is the whole problem with tofu. It tastes like nothing, and in this case, smells like shit. I’m glad I was able to check Taiwan’s unofficial national dish off my list. Space can officially fuck off.

Quick! Beer me!

A futile attempt to rinse the stink off the tofu

Cock’s Combs – It had been boiled first and then tossed in a spicy cilantro, lime and green onion sauce. It wasn’t so much the taste, which was mostly saucy, but the texture that gets you. It was rough on the outside and spongy in the middle. I wouldn’t refuse a second try if it was offered to me, but I wouldn’t seek it out either.

Duck Intestines – Served in the same sauce as the cock’s combs, they were better texture-wise and tasted almost exactly the same. Not much to report here.

Intestines in a bag, eaten with a stick.
There's no limit to the classiness of the night market.

Duck Feet – Like the other two described above, taste was secondary and texture was key. Rough texture on the outside, lots of crunchy cartilage on the inside surrounded by spongy “stuff”…not much meat here. Best used as a great shocker to food losers at parties, but really, it’s nothing.

Space says "I'm not with him."

Taiwanese Spring Roll – Ignore the name, this thing is a beef wrap in a Taiwanese style. The peanut sauce made it for me…delicious. I’d order it again if I could remember the name.

Chicken Assholes – Well, not actually the hole, more like the ass, but the hole is there. Who the fuck even knew that this type of stuff was available? They come deep fried and 5 to a stick, 3 for me and 2 for Space. I know this sounds wrong, but they were meaty and delicious. Which brings me to the obvious question: What are we doing with all the surplus delicious chicken asses back home? Hopefully they aren’t going to waste. My guess is dog food.

A new meaning for "That chick's got a great ass"

Fried whole soft shell crab – Nothing new or exotic for me here, but it looked tasty so the fat guy in me had to have a couple. Technically it was supposed to be soft-shelled crab, but it was crunchier than any other I’ve had. I ate the whole thing, shell and all. I’ll have this one again, maybe with some chicken asses and duck tongue.